Yoo Jin Jeong / Chapter 3 First Draft / Narrative & Composition Tuesday 3,4

 

          In this day and age where the virtual world is almost as significant as our reality, the internet is becoming a valid place to start relationships, even if it's one-sided. That may sound very creepy under other circumstances, but in the last ten years a special platform for a new kind of interaction was formed by the name of YouTube. Through this new platform came a new generation of celebrities and influences called youtubers - people who upload videos and impact millions of lives through the internet. I am going to talk about a youtuber today, about what kind of a person he is, and how he affected my life. I'm going to talk about a man named Dan Howell.

           Daniel James Howell is a 24 year old British youtuber (born 1991). He has brown hair with a fringe hanging over the left side of his face that has almost become iconic for his fans. He has brown eyes and white skin that is very prone to tanning, and after every vacation he takes he returns with clearly darker skin. He is very tall, so tall that the first thing many people say upon first meeting him is a comment about how tall he is. He is 191cm (roughly about 6 feet four inches), and when fans ask for selfies together he uses his extra long limbs to take the picture for them. Dan prefers black or gray clothes, but despite his monochromatic wardrobe he has a good sense of fashion. He frequently uses gestures when he talks, and has "a stride in his step" according to someone who has seen him in real life. He has a certain laugh, a series of clear, high-pitched rings that bursts out of him when he finds something genuinely and uncontrollably funny. His gaze can range anywhere from intense and serious to soft and warm.

           I first found Dan through a different YouTube channel that featured his video called "Cringe Attack" where he discusses the strange phenomenon where "memories I have been trying to forget my whole life... are attacking me when I least expect it." He named it "cringe attack" hence the title of the video. I actually related to the video in a very personal way (as cringe attacks happen to me on a regular basis) and it made me laugh so much that I looked up the rest of his videos. From then on I just became a massive fan. Dan's videos are mostly snippets of his life and focused on specific topics, like his intense hatred for spoilers or how much of a procrastinator he is. He has a unique sense of humor and every video is just plain hilarious.

           But although he often degrades himself for humor in his videos, Dan loves inspiring people. He knows that he has an influence over his viewers, and when he once found out he had a ten year old viewer he freaked out and cried, "Ten? Don't watch me! I'm such a bad influence!" But another time he spoke about negative opinions, saying to his viewers, "I just want to be positive and encouraging for everybody." Dan also has what he calls an "internet support group" where viewers send in their problems and he attempts to help them. Although it is mostly done in jest, he always leaves what advice he can for his viewers, like what he did for a twelve year old girl who was angry that her friends made fun of her for her above-the-average vocabulary. He said, "It is really important to never dumb yourself down to fit in... You should be proud of your intelligence."

           Perhaps the reason why Dan is so concerned with helping people is that he's had difficulties of his own. He went through a phase he calls "the existential crisis" where he started questioning the meaning of human existence itself and how insignificant they all are before the grand scheme of the universe. It was this existential crisis that got him to drop out of college when he realized that life was too short to waste on doing what society deemed was appropriate for him and pursue his true passions - YouTube. Apparently this existential crisis revisits him once in a while, and he has talked about this phenomenon in one of his videos, "Existential Crisis" where he shares what it feels like to have an existential crisis and how he deals with it. This video, however, doesn't just demonstrate what insane things may be going on in Dan's mind, but also shows why he is so invested in his videos and his fans. He knows what it's like to fall into a place where it feels like nothing in his life matters, and he wants to help anyone who is in that same place. This video also spawned what is possibly one of Dan's most famous quotes: "Embrace the void, and have the courage to exist." If anything, I think that sums Dan up pretty well - he has the courage to exist, and he wants to instill it in others as well.

 

           This is why I love the man so much. He has a great sense of humor and cares deeply for his fans, and has never failed to let that show. I was going through a very difficult time when I first saw his videos, but when he made me laugh my stress away and told me that whatever mistakes in my life I may have made only shows how much I've grown, it encouraged me and motivated me to pick myself up and work harder. It felt like a friend was assuring me that I was doing well, and that I can do even better. It gave me the courage to exist.

 

           I am not the only one who was personally affected by Dan. Recently fans of Dan and Phil (a friend of Dan's who is also a youtuber) made a video thanking them for all the things the two have done for them. Some of the testimonies include: "You helped me accept myself." "You helped me deal with depression and social anxiety." and "[you] show me that it's okay to be different." They are fans from all over the world and different backgrounds, all influenced by the same person to turn their lives around and work to make it better. Though he was just behind a screen making videos for the internet, Dan has done so much for his viewers.

 

           Dan Howell to me will always be that one youtuber that I actually started watching because I genuinely loved his content. Though he doesn't know that I exist (and odds are I will never actually meet him) he has helped me through difficult times in life and still helps me strive to be my best. But if I ever do get to meet him, my hopes are that I will get a chance to tell him everything that he's done for me and thank him, because really, to this day, he gives me the courage to exist.