Sunday, October 11, 2015

Nayeon Kim / FIrst Draft / Narrative composition / Tuesday 11am

The first time I saw her was freshmen year Literature 101 class. With glasses on, she looked quite plain. She always wore her hair up in ponytail or down with a tousled touch, it seemed like either she was a "Virgin Mary" type or a lazy high school girl. There was a thing about how she dressed. Her signature look was sleeveless white shirt with black shorts and flip-flop. Even though she was quite tall, there was something about her that made her look shorter and younger. She had darker skin than others, and I have not ever considered her beautiful before she took off her glasses. Once she shed her glasses because she got the laser surgery, her big doe eyes were revealed and I could see how she understood my mistakes with a good mind. 

2 comments:

  1. Hi! I am Yae Lim
    1. This essay is about your friend's first impression by describing her appereance
    2. (1) She looked lik a lazy high school girl
    (2) She was tall but her dress made her look shorter and younger
    (3) She got eye laser surgery and this made her look beautiful
    3. I think you miss what she says, what other people say about her
    4. I did not have any.
    5. I think the writer wants to talk about lesson she learned by describing the experience with her friend's appreance
    6. i would like to know what others say about her, and specific events with her.

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  2. Hello! I'm SeongYeon. I really enjoyed your writing!
    1. It's about your friend's first impression, which had changed in the end
    2. -1Well, She got eye surgery, which affected to her overall look.
    -2 Her hair up in ponytail or down with a tousled touch.
    -3 The way she dressed made her seem shorter than her actual height.
    3. I think you just mentioned A. The overall writing was about describing what your friend looks like.
    4. For me, I couldn't understand "Virgin Mary" at first.
    5. Maybe, this girl had became your best-friend.
    6. I want to know more about her personality, not just her appearance:)

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