These days, most children begin to learn the way to use computer before they go to elementary school. But, I bought the first computer when I was 12 years old. I remember that most friends for my age were accustomed to using computer, and they enjoyed playing computer games like StarCraft. Even now, I don't know how to play this game. Anyway, since I began to use computer so late compared to my friends, I was alone when they used computer and played video games.
Now, we can use the internet at the reasonable price. But, in 1999 the year when I bought the computer for the first time, I had to pay so much money to use the low quality of internet service. So, I decided to register computer academy to learn computer and enjoy the internet. In the academy, I learned so many things from the basic typing skill to something professional.
The year 2000 was the very first beginning year of the new millennium. So, my school held many festivals and contests about the innovative technology. Among those events, almost all classmates fervently expected computer contests. I also took part in some contests to win the prize. I joined the quickly typing contest won the first place. And then, I studied professional computer books to get certificates and achieved what I wanted. If someone asked me "when was the happiest moment of your life?", without hesitation, I would say the year I learned and enjoyed computer.
Your first paragraph is interesting, but I think you could add some catchy sentences in the latter part of the paragraph to attract the readers to read on. Another thing I would like to comment on is the part where you said that your classmates were fervently expecting seems unnatural to me.
ReplyDeleteWriting about your experience from past to present is a good way to explain your experience about computer. however, i think it would be more better if there's some details that can make your story seems more real.
ReplyDeletei enjoyed your writing ! :)
Park Shinyoung / Narrative Composition / Tuesday 11a.m.
ReplyDeleteThese days, most children begin to learn the way to use computer before they go to elementary school. Most of them know the basic knowledge about the way of using computer to some degree. I remember that most friends my age were accustomed to using computer, and they enjoyed playing computer games like StarCraft. But, I bought the first computer when I was 12 years old. It was 1999. I was left behind my friends when it comes to using computer. Even now, I don't know how to play this game. Anyway, since I began to use computer so late compared to my friends, I was alone when they used computer and played video games.
After I bought the computer, I decided to register computer academy to learn computer and enjoy the internet. In the academy, I learned so many things from the basic typing skill to something professional. I could see many kinds of computers and take a close look at them. When I had something to ask, I asked to teachers right away. Some teachers would get angry at the curious boy. I enjoyed and studied computer harder than anyone else in the academy.
The year 2000 was the very first beginning year of the new millennium. So, my school held many festivals and contests about the innovative technology. Among those events, almost all classmates fervently expected computer contests. I also took part in some contests to win the prize. I joined the quickly typing contest won the first place. And then, I studied professional computer books to get certificates and achieved what I wanted. If someone asked me "when was the happiest moment of your life?", without hesitation, I would say the year I learned and enjoyed computer