[My first blind date]
I've naver had a boyfriend until i was 20. so i really wanted to have one after being a university student. One day, My friend suggested me to have a blind date with her friend. it was my first time, so i was really excited at that time. "Of course! Why not?" i accepted her suggestion with pleasure. I had waited my blind date and finally the doom's day came. I tried to make myself as beautiful as possible. I bought some new clothes, got a hair cut and tried to do a perfect make-up. I was so confident.
However, the boy i met was not my type though. He was such a skinny guy and there were so many pimples on his face. so i was dissapointed. but i tried to know about him. We went to an Italian restaurant and talked about our favorite things. Surprisingly, We had such a many common things. His favorite musician was same as mine. so it was really interesting to talk with him. After having dinner, we strolled around the park. it was such a cold day so i was exhausted at that time. "I'll go to the toilet for a while. can you wait?" he said. i nodded and he left. 10 minutes later, he came back with two hot latte. "I bought this hot latte for you because you look so exhausted. why don't you go home and take a rest after having this coffee with me?" he asked me while handing a cup of coffee. I was so touched with his consideration. We enjoyed our conversation with coffee and i came back to home.
I realized that appearance can not be a measurment to judge people. He gave me not only good memory, but also important lesson.
I could totally agree with the part where you said you were disappointed when you met the guy. It is an experience any girl would have had, so it makes your writing more interesting. But you have some typos like "naver" that is confusing, so I think you could check your writing before you submit it.
ReplyDeletea. Your topic itself makes everything seem real because I am sure almost everyone had the same experience, their first blind dates. Personally, I can totally understand your story as I had my first blind date after I came to university and I was slightly disappointed too!
ReplyDeleteb. Nothing was confusing, but I think you can double-check your work next time for minor errors like capitalizing the letter I.
c. I found it interesting and I wanted to read on. I wanted to find out what happened to you on your first blind date.
d. You are using the past tense throughout your writing, and I think this is done nicely as you are referring to a past experience. I don't think you need to use any other tenses.
e. When revising, it would be nice if you add more detail to your writing. For example, try to split up your first paragraph; write more about how you felt about not having had a boyfriend for 20 years, write another paragraph with more details on how you did your hair that day, what kind of makeup you put on, which clothes you bought, etc. I think the more specific, the better. And you can also consider adding more dialogue when you actually met him to make it more interesting. Lastly, I am dying to know what really happened in the end! Did he become your first boyfriend? You should write a good conclusion to solve the reader's curiosity.
[My first blind date]
ReplyDelete“Yaelim, Why don’t you hang out with my friend? I mean, blind date!”
I've never had a boyfriend until i was 20. So I really wanted to have one after being a university student. One day, My friend suggested me to have a blind date with her friend. That was my first blind date, So I was really excited at that time. "Of course! Why not?" I accepted her suggestion with pleasure.
I waited my blind date and finally the doom's day came. I tried to make myself as beautiful as possible. I bought some new clothes. I wore a red mini dress with black coat. It looked so nicely. Moreover, I got a haircut and tried to do a perfect make-up. I applied a lovely pink lipstick on my lips which could bring luck to my blind date. I was so confident.
It was winter day, but sunlight stuck through the clouds. “Excuse me, are you Jimin’s friend Yaelim?” I heard a stranger’s voice while I was waiting my blind date partner. ‘It was him!’ I was so excited, so I turned around quickly.
However, the boy I met was not my type though. He was such a skinny guy and there were so many pimples on his face. So I was disappointed very much. But I tried to know about him. We went to an Italian restaurant and talked about our favorite things. Surprisingly, we had such a many common things. His favorite musician was same as mine. So it was really interesting to talk with him. After having dinner, we strolled around the park. It was such a cold day so I was exhausted at that time. "I'll go to the toilet for a while. can you wait?" he said. I nodded and he left. 10 minutes later, he came back with two hot coffees. "I bought this hot latte for you because you look so exhausted. Why don't you go home and take a rest after having this coffee with me?" he asked me while handing a cup of coffee. I was so touched with his consideration. We enjoyed our conversation with coffee and I came back to home.
I realized that appearance can not be a measurement to judge people. He gave me not only good memory, but also important lesson.
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ReplyDelete[My first blind date]
“Yaelim, Why don’t you hang out with my friend? I mean, blind date!”
I've never had a boyfriend until i was 20. So I really wanted to have one after being a university student. One day, My friend suggested me to have a blind date with her friend. That was my first blind date, So I was really excited at that time. "Of course! Why not?" I accepted her suggestion with pleasure.
I waited my blind date and finally the doom's day came. I tried to make myself as beautiful as possible. I bought some new clothes. I wore a red mini dress with black coat. It looked so nicely. Moreover, I got a haircut and tried to do a perfect make-up. I applied a lovely pink lipstick on my lips which could bring luck to my blind date. I was so confident.
It was winter day, but sunlight stuck through the clouds. “Excuse me, are you Jimin’s friend Yaelim?” I heard a stranger’s voice while I was waiting my blind date partner. ‘It was him!’ I was so excited, so I turned around quickly.
However, the boy I met was not my type though. He was such a skinny guy and there were so many pimples on his face. So I was disappointed very much. But I tried to know about him. We went to an Italian restaurant and talked about our favorite things. Surprisingly, we had such a many common things. His favorite musician was same as mine. So it was really interesting to talk with him. After having dinner, we strolled around the park. It was such a cold day so I was exhausted at that time. "I'll go to the toilet for a while. can you wait?" he said. I nodded and he left. 10 minutes later, he came back with two hot coffees. "I bought this hot latte for you because you look so exhausted. Why don't you go home and take a rest after having this coffee with me?" he asked me while handing a cup of coffee. I was so touched with his consideration. We enjoyed our conversation with coffee and I came back to home.
I realized that appearance can not be a measurement to judge people. He gave me not only good memory, but also important lesson.