CAUGHT IN A TRAP
When I failed the university admission test, I decided to study again in Noryangjin. Noryangjin is originally famous for a huge fish market. But, it is also well-known for people who prepare for tests. Regardless of what kinds of test they prepare for, almost all kinds of academies stand close together. In 2007, I lost contact with all friends and families, and studied at one of academies in Noryangjin. I almost didn't say anything and only focused on what I should do as a test-taker. When I felt tired and alone, I just wandered around Noryangjin. I kept walking without thinking anything. Such a time of meandering was my only recess.
On November of the year, I took the test again. But, the result was miserable. I failed to enter the university that I wanted. I hated myself too much and felt regret about the year that I had poured myself into studying. I became to think of Noryangjin as the tragic place. Afterwards, I had never been there in order to block out the memory of studying in Noryangjin. For a long time, I had fallen into a sense of frustration.
Last year, I failed to enter some companies that I wanted. I passed all phases of the hiring process but failed the final interviews. I thought that my life was a succession of failures. I decided to change my career. I chose to be public servant just because a job interview is not important too much in the field of the job. I tried to study by myself, and I did so for half a month. But, I felt uneasy in my mind since I wanted to review what I had studied. So, I went to Noryangjin in order to take the final review lecture.
Even though it has been eight years since I didn't go there, it didn't seem unfamiliar at all. Almost everything hasn't been changed. I felt as if I was caught in a trap again over eight years. As I did so eight years ago, I was absorbed in studying. I disconnect all contacts with people. I felt that I was left behind people my age. Many people my age succeed in achieving their goals. But, I stayed in place and was running in circles for the most of my twenties. I really want to cast off the shackles of my life spent in Noryanigjin. But, I think it seems to be difficult unless I get the job.
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