The warmest place
201202631 Lee, Eun Young
I was raised by my grandma until I became eight years old for my parents were busy for the living. I spend most of my time with my grandparents. My grandparents lived in Yongho Dong in Busan. It was an old house. All the stickers from the gums and lots of scribble were on the faded and worn wall. The steps were gray colored and it was quite steep. The door was made of iron and glass. I didn't like the sound of that door. The house was so old that even restroom was in the outside of the house. Whenever I had to go to the restroom, I called my grandma to company me. Although it was physically uncomfortable and old house, it was the most calm and comfortable place to me.
What I liked most was the roof of the house. Because we lived in the second floor of the building we could use the roof freely. My grandma used to put lots of croaks of all kinds of sauces on the roof. Whenever I go up to the roof, I could smell little bit odd but somehow familiar smells. I liked to lie on the roof with my grandma during the summer. In the day time because sun shine was too strong, the roof was heated. So, in the evening when I and my grandma lie on the roof, the back of my body was warm and the breeze on my face was cool. We could see lots of lots of stars. I often felt that I was lying in the space. We sometimes ate corn, potatoes and watermelon. My grandma always burned green spiral mosquito repellent incense so that mosquito can't bite me. I loved that atmosphere. I loved the warmest feeling that I could feel. I don't know whether that warmness is because of the heated roof or warm potato or my grandma, but I could felt that moment was so warm and balmy.
However, when I became 8 I started to live my parents, and when I became 13 my grandparents moved to another place. So after that I had no chances to go to the roof and lying there with my grandma. So, that memory is very precious to me. When life gets hard and I started to feel this world is so cold to live, I think of the warmness that I felt on the roof. The roof at that time was not only a roof, but it was the warmest place ever.
1. I really enjoyed your essay and it really made me imagine about your grandparent's house. I liked how you explained a specific place of the house.
ReplyDelete2. The writer did describe the place clearly. However, I think that there could be parts where she could write more specific details of it.
3. Yes, the writer appealed to different senses. I liked that she wrote "I didn't like the sound of that door," because I could imagine it. Also, she gave details of the smell of the roof.
4. I would describe the mood of this place as delightful.
5. I think that the writer chose to write about this place because it is a place she spent her childhood and even if she wants to go back she can't because her grandparent's moved to another place. So, it is a place that is remained in her childhood.
6. I think that the writer could improve this paper write more details to it. For example, describing in detail how the stars looked like in the dark or the sound of the door of the house.
Hello! I'm SeongYeon and I enjoyed your writing so much!
ReplyDelete1. I like the way you expressed your emotions about the place. I like the overall atmosphere of your writing.
2. I could imagine the roof top roughly. It will be great if you describe more about the place's sight-Was the roof top's shape square?
3. I think you wrote about those 5 senses. I could know that the place was warm enough, and the smells as well.
4. The overall atmosphere was quite warm. This story reminded me of my grandma.
5. Because the house is now her memory and she cannot go there again, I think the place became so important to her.
6. I think it will be amazing if only you can describe the roof top. Maybe why don't you add some conversations with your grandma.