My Best Friend Older Than Me
Korean people tend to be so sensitive with age gap. Therefore, when they meet people first, it is natural that asking each other's age directly and it decides how they treat each other. Even one year old gap is considered huge in Korea and people should always be polite to a person who is older than them. In Korea, 'friend' means a person who is close with me and having same age at the same time. I have heard a lot from my foreign friends that why many Korean people hang out and become friends only with the same age people. Therefore, many people are curious about my friendship with one of my best friend. Among my friends, there is whom I love most whose name is Hani. She is five years older than me but we have many common things and we are connected deeply so much. We meet regularly at least once in a week and hung out. Also, I'd always thought that her life is very interesting so I thought she was the best person interviewing. Considering that both of us love drinking and I wanted to make a comfortable atmosphere for her, I made a reservation at her favorite bar.
At first, we were just catching up and after moment, I talked to her.
"Hani, there is something I should do today and I think you are the one who can help me. Can you help me?"
She started to laugh and asked me back. "What do you mean? What should I do?"
I said. "What you have to do is just answering frankly to my questions. Can you do that?"
"Of course. I think it will be fun" She looked very interesting.
We know almost everything about each other so I asked her about some questions that we usually talked about. I asked my first question.
"As you know, whenever people heard our age gap, they were always curious how we could become so close like this. Do you think what made us so closer and what is the most important thing to maintain friendship?"
She slightly smiled and started to speak in calm voice.
"I don't have a prejudice toward people and I always respect every person even if who is way much younger than me. There must be something I can learn from those people."
Then one question popped up in my head and I asked directly to her.
"Do you mean that you like all the people around you? How is it possible?"
She smile again and said.
"I am not a Jesus or Buddha so I do not and can not like all the people I know. But at least I don't draw any boundary between a person near me and myself. I am always open-minded and try to see the good things in people. However, if there are only bad things in someone and the relationship with that person looked made me ill, I drastically give up that relationship. It's also important."
As soon as I heard her answer, I remembered that she would get married her boyfriend soon. They have been together for years and I've always thought she is so wise that she knows really well how to manage the relationship very well which is I am not good at. Therefore I asked her again.
"Hani, you made an important decision in your life not too long ago. You will get married! How does it feel and what made you choose your boyfriend as your future husband?"
"Actually it doesn't feel real yet. However, as you said, marriage is one of the most important decisions in one's life so I tried to be careful and it took me very long time to make a decision. First, he is so faithful to me. It was always the first thing when I see guys. Also, he has lots of good things that I want to emulate. He always has plans for his future and career but also lives a fruitful life by focusing on present moment and doing hardworking. Furthermore he never says negative word. He always tries to be positive and supports me. By these reasons I have always felt that he is a real mature man and it was my oldest dream that getting married and raising a family with a guy like him."
Then the next question just slipped out of my mouth as soon as listening to her.
I asked her. "Could you tell me your secret tips to keep your relationship so firm for long time?"
She spoke slowly and carefully.
"I have strong trust to my people and try to show my trust to them. If there is no such belief between you and the person you love, that is no longer a healthy relationship. Also, I do not afraid of being troubled in relationship. Instead, I do always have a conversation to resolve that. I believe that the relationship will be getting deeper by doing so. Do not make all the small conflicts into big fight. What you have to remember is just think them as a chance to get to know each other more and a step to go forward.
After hearing her answer, I realized again why I like her so much. She is always wise and behaved appropriately in every situation. Also, I was very interested about her career which is totally different with me so I asked about it.
"You majored western art in college but now you are working as a fashion editor. Is there any differences between those two works and any difficulties in your job?"
She listened to my question very carefully and then started answering.
"When I draw a picture, there was no guideline and my inspiration was the only thing I could follow. But in magazine industries, there is customer's demand and we need to deal with it and follow that continuously. Also, Magazine is printed every month so we have to make successful output per month. Meeting a deadline is very stressful work for me. Furthermore, there are tons of fabulous fashion magazines in Korea so there is always fierce competition. These things make me feel tightened and pressed all the time."
"However, as you know there are many girls who want to be a fashion editor though its' hardness. Are there any good things working as a fashion editor?" I asked.
"Of course there are lots of good things in my job. Since I started this career, I've changed a lot. Fashion magazine is not a book only talking about fashion and clothes but also covering many useful things for women such as cosmetics, relationship tips and career tips. Oh, even there is a page for consultation in our magazine. To deliver useful information for our readers, I meet new people almost every day and I experienced many new things. Though it's sometimes pretty tiring and I am always hectic, every time I see the finished magazine at the end of each month, it reminds me that how lucky I am that I could be helpful to somebody and make such a wonderful magazine.
After our conversation, I felt and realized many things thanks to her. Actually, we usually had conversation related our personal issues and didn't talk much about her career deeply. Though I started this interview as an assignment but we spent really good time. It was a chance that I get to know her more.
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